useable, no matter the circumstances
Kathy on May 12th 2009
Why is it that we feel we must be a perfect specimen of humanity before we can be used by the Lord for His glory? I am speaking to myself now. Do you ever find yourself thinking, “How can I be of much use to the Master?” For whatever reason, I think we all are beset with this kind of thinking. I think the enemy of our soul, Satan, makes sure condemning seeds of this sort are planted in the soil of our hearts daily.
My precious mother has been in a skilled care center for almost five years. She cannot respond verbally anymore nor can she move, except for twitching her feet or moving her eyebrows up a little. The little beginning of a smile and light in her eyes show up from time to time but briefly, oh, so briefly and rarely nowadays. I know that somewhere, maybe deep in her psyche, she knows we are with her and she knows her God has not forsaken her.
How, you may wonder, does this tie into being used of God? I thought Mom’s time of being useful for God’s purposes were over. She could no longer sing in the choir, faithfully clean the church restrooms, bake for church fundraisers or take dinners to those in need. There could be no more driving elderly ladies and take them to church, nor teach Sunday School. No more having new converts over to teach them Bible Studies or feed them lunch and have a friendly chat. No small groups meeting in her home. Her home’s been sold. All the things she did joyfully for her Master she can no longer do. As far as material goods, she owns nothing more than the few clothes she needs and a few meager necessities. It seemed as though her ministering days were over.
Then I began to notice some special things happening. I was learning to have more patience and overcame fears of “what if?” Also her adult grandchildren and the little great-grandchildren learned a lot about true love. The kind of love that gives even when the receiver can no longer give anything tangable in return. Mom is still teaching us how to love, not the way she would have chosen to do it, but never the less, she is teaching us.
The peace and love shining through Mom’s countenance has also affected those caring for her at the nursing home. I could fill pages containing the glowing comments made to me about Mom. How can this be, in her situation? It can only be God’s peace and joy that continue to emanate from her that blesses those caring for her.
So many others are drawn to Mom’s sweet spirit. I walked in her room February 14 to find a pretty balloon with a Valentine note from the family of her roommate. It said, “To a lovely lady with a beautiful smile.” Mom’s smiles may be rare but evidently she was able to share one with this family.
Last week as I thumbed through Mom’s Bible looking for just the right passage to read to her, I came across a handwritten note on three small pieces of paper. It was dated 4-8-09 and was signed by a woman in the church who visits Mom periodically.
She wrote, “Dear Sis. Clark, You are sleeping soundly this afternoon & unaware of my presence. You have no noticeable pain. I don’t know what you dream about or what your thoughts are when awake. My own mind runs to and fro day and night. So many things to do and plan for. $ to budget, sales goals for the job, Mica’s infected toe, Easter is Sun., my cousin is about to die from liver damage w/out the hand of God, one of my aunts is grieving over the loss of my uncle, Bro. Steve had a stroke, I focus on too many unimportant things…the list goes on…much to consider & pray about & decide upon…then I come into your room and it’s always the same… life stops… and my mind stops… for a few brief moments nothing else matters but being with you. I thank you for every moment we have spent together… even if you are sleeping. I thank you for every moment that the world has hushed, by being in your presence. May your dreams be sweet and your thoughts be beautiful!!! God in His majesty is most glorious! I love you so much, Tam”
Through Mom’s life I’ve learned that God can use us to touch lives no matter what our circumstance. If we give God our little ‘loaves and fishes’ He can still bless and use it to feed the multitude!